National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Stands with Rihanna

I tend not to backtrack on issues because there are so many things to address and direct my time and attention to. However, I came across a statement from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence in which they articulate their solidarity with Rihanna. So although I have already spoken to this issue that is too important to ignore:

Contact:
Rita Smith
Executive Director
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV)
1120 Lincoln St., Ste 1603
Denver, CO 80203
(303) 839-1852
www.ncadv.org

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Stands With Rihanna:
“She is not responsible for the violence perpetrated against her.”

Washington, DC -- When singer Chris Brown reportedly assaulted his girlfriend, fellow singer Rihanna, following an argument on Sunday, February 8th, there was an immediate public outcry of support for Rihanna.

Visibly battered and bruised, Rihanna has joined the ranks of millions of women, becoming part of a horrifying statistic of 1 in 4 women who will be beaten by their intimate partners during their lifetimes.

By Wednesday, February 11th, however, the tune had changed. With new information alleging that Rihanna had begun the argument herself, public support began to waver. Some implied, and others firmly stated, that because Rihanna may have started the argument, she deserved the subsequent abuse she suffered. Now as stories circulate about the couple’s reunion, support for Rihanna seems to be waning even more.

This is unacceptable.

The idea that someone “deserves” to be beaten is intolerable and appalling. Choosing to use violence in response to conflict—and we emphasize that violence is a choice—is the sole responsibility of the abuser. Regardless of the circumstances or other factors of the situation, violence and abuse is never an acceptable response. Rihanna, or any other victim of violence, is not responsible for the violence perpetrated against them, plain and simple.

Rihanna’s rumored reunion with Chris Brown does not in any way mean she “wants to be abused.” Reasons for staying in or returning to an abusive relationship are more complex than a statement about the victim’s strength of character. For most of us, the decision to end a relationship is one of the most difficult we will ever make. A battered woman’s emotional ties to her partner may still be strong, supporting her hope that the violence will end. Also, it is extremely common for battered women to return to their abuser multiple times before she leaves for good. Gaining strength, relinquishing hope, or letting go of someone we love is very hard and takes time even when violence is not present. Supporting victims of domestic violence in their process and understanding the dynamics of domestic violence is vital to their success and survival. To learn more about domestic violence, please visit these links:

Domestic Violence Facts: http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf or www.ncadv.org
Why Doesn’t She Just Leave? http://www.ncadv.org/files/Why%20Doesnt%20She%20Leave.doc
Men and Domestic Violence: www.acalltomen.org
We hope that Rihanna finds the resources she needs to heal and regain her sense of security and self and encourage everyone to support her in her process. We also hope that Chris Brown is held accountable for his actions and receives support to learn alternatives to violence as a way to deal with conflict in his life.
The mission of NCADV is to organize for collective power by advancing transformative work, thinking, and leadership of communities and individuals working to end the violence in our lives. NCADV believes violence against women and children results from force or threat to achieve and maintain control in intimate relationships as well as from societal abuse of power and domination via sexism, racism, homophobia, classism, anti-Semitism, able-bodyism, ageism, and other oppressions. NCADV recognizes that abuse of power in society can foster battering by perpetuating conditions that condone violence against women and children. To learn more about NCADV, please visit www.ncadv.org.
###

Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association Chapter Meeting - Central Mid West District

This week I attended a Ministers Chapter Retreat in West Bend, Wisconsin at the Cedar Valley Center. The Retreat was comprised of the ministers and seminarians from the Central MidWest District. The location was beautiful (see pictures below).

The Unitarian Univerasalist Association (UUA) is divided into twenty districts that serve the congregations in the designated districts. Central MidWest District has seventy-two congregations and is comprised of all or parts of five states: Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Missouri and Wisconsin. Each year the ministers retreat for two and a half days. This is my first Retreat in this district. Besides checking in they included worship and collegial conversations and a workshop topic. This year Rev. Dr. Clare Butterfield presented on process theology and explored it as a theology that is both "plausible and consistent with scientific laws." It was a very stimulating and though provoking presentation with some 23 ministers in attendance.

Because Ministers Chapter Meetings are usually held in conjunction with a District Meeting some of us went on to Waukesha, Milwaukee to attend the District Meeting at the Marriott. I have posted those pictures above.

My presence at the Ministers Chapter Meeting represented both a desire to meet and hang out with colleagues and a more practical need to bring some information about Meadville Lombards new educational design. I was able to do both.

Question: Life can be challenging with all its meetings and emphasis on being producive. When do you get to just "be"? Do you allow enough time to do nothing? How does this contribute to your satisfactory mental health? Can you find more places and times like this?
Blessings! Rev. Qiyamah


This is a random picture that I took of a UU ministers car in the parking lot. Reading these bumper stickers gives you a clear idea of this ministers politics and passions!


This picture of a farm house in Cedar Valley reminds me of Hawkinsville, GA. Hawkinsville is the place where I was born and where my grandparents and my mother originated.


Cedar Valley Center - the site of our ministers retreat.


This sign hangs outside alongside the road as you drive into the Center.


It was a great location and reminded me so much of Hawkinsville, GA. It was peaceful and filled with opportunities to interact with nature.


This campfire scene was located directly behind the lodge. It evoked scenes of elders sitting around a campfire at night telling stories with the children quietly playing off at a distance and the older ones listening so that they would be able to tell the same stories one day. Listen to the nostalgia!





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Like the road of life we do not always know where they lead but we have to decide if we are motivated enough to see where it leads - all while considering the safety factors and whether it is a distraction or will facilitate our journey.

This was the area that I went exploring in behind the lodge. It had a small lake and grassy areas with birds singing. I even heard a woodpecker!


This is another scene that makes me think about Hawkinsville, GA and wonder what life would be like on the land with a mix of the old and new?


I was told this land originally belonged to the native americans. Is there any land that we can stand on in this country that did not originally belong to the native americans? How can this country make restitution for what was stolen? Perhaps the reconstruction of this clearly native american site is an attempt to tell some of the story. Or perhaps it is blatant appropriation? Who knows!

Gardening in the Hood

These are pictures of the community garden located two doors down from me. Today coincided with the orientation day for gardeners plus a community service day for University of Chicago students. I am going to learn all about gardening and cooperative housing while taking Spanish.

Question: If life is a daring adventure what adventure are you embarking on?

Blessing! Rev. Qiyamah

Finding Our Way Home

wood carving of a celebration of the birth of a child.


This crucifixtion scene was front and center at St. Sabina and captures contemporary issues that have been placed on the cross of Jesus. What is the significance of Jesus' absence? What relationship do the issues of violence, poverty, hunger, incarceration have to do with the persecution and death of Jesus?


Referencing this piece of art at St. Sabina Catholic Church, Louis Farrakhan stated the following, "This pastor sees a need in the family to love ourselves and he broke ranks with tradition and put a Black Christ before you and gave you root in yourself, brought our culture into a church that was designed to make us into the image of other than what we were."



The Black Family - St. Sabina Catholic Church


The above pictures are examples of the incredible art at St. Sabina, a Catholic church located in the heart of the black community on the southside of Chicago. Rev. Dr. Michael L. Pfleger, the consummate pastor/activist is the leader of this primarily black Catholic church. Father Pfleger is controversial if anything with his candid and opinionated comments that he is not hesitant to share. However, the Roman Catholic Archdiocese publicly supported him and the controversial vote in 2001 when the Southside Catholic Conference voted 11-9 to deny St. Sabina's entrance into its athletic conference. The rationale for the exclusion was "fear by certain coaches and parishes for the safety of their children." In other words, the neighborhood that St. Sabina is located in is perceived as so dangerous by white catholics that they refused to allow their children to attend athletic events in the neighborhood. Father Sabina charged racism.

While Father Pfleger's critics are numerous one of his supporters may come as a surprise to some. Louis Farrakhan, a controversial leader himself, contends that Father Pfleger is one of the, "best examples of love, charity, broteherhood and love for black people than any spiritual leader he has ever met.

Calling the Black family a disintegrating one, Farrakhan said, "it is not the whole family that it should be - that it once was." He added, "sometimes when God allows a family to break down it is because he has a better family in mind. Not a family of blood but (one) of spirit."

Farrakhan called for racial harmony and said that as a white man, Pfleger "made you to love yourself and gave us spirit that we did not have, and now, we must grow beyond just hue and the color but grow into the spirit of that Christ - that there will be one faith, one love, one baptism, and Muslim and Christian and Jew can sit down together and not argue about who is God or where is God - but we know that God is one."

In turn Father Pfleger has praised Minister Farrakhan and criticized the white media for what he contends is a false portrayal of Farrakhan. Father Pfleger condemned "...the system that wants to keep shackling and keep people down, but he {Minister Farrakhan} continues to speak the truth."

He futher proclaimed, "I thank God for this man every day. I pray for him every day," Pfleger said of his friend. He called the minister a man of "truth, justice, a man of fairness, equality. A man who is doing more about change than anyone walking this earth today," Pfleger said.

Good Friday, April 10, 2009
I recently attended the Good Friday Service at St. Sabina. Earlier in the day I had visited Trinity United Church of Christ, where the Rev. Otis Moss III is the pastor and the REv. Dr. Jeremiah A. Wright, Jr., is the Pastor Emeritus. The Good Friday SErvice was titled, Daughters of Thunder: Let the Sisters Say It. And they did! Seven dynamic female preachers had their say for three hours on the last seven words of Jesus. They rocked the house!


Later that evening I joined a couple of friends for my first visit to St. Sabina Catholic Church. The "Seven Last Words" of Jesus from the Cross to Resurrection were celebrated in a powerful worship experience. Like others that attend for the first time the liturgy challenged my stereotypes of Catholicism. The presence of gospel music, the emotive worship style of the parishioners, black preaching that included call and response and the energetic and passionate interaction were a welcome but not unknown to me. Clearly these folks evidenced a personal relationship with a god that is very much real and alive in their hearts and lives. The service was electrifying.

Those that say, " I would rather have content and substance than emotional appeal. Of the seven ministers that preached that night, four were Rev. Doctors (as is Father Pfleger). All the preachers sermons demonstrated scholarly competence that appealed to the head and they were also able to touch the heart. This false binary between heart and head is an ongoing struggle that Unitarian Universalists have grappled with. Coming from such a religiously pluralistic background I have worked to integrate these truths and to reject the normative either/or approach that not only separates head and heart but religion and our sexuality. It is this same binary approach that causes us to name ourselves as the normative and anyone else as "other." When this tendency towards tribalism intersects with race, class, gender, and heterosexism we are at risk for "othering."

Q. Where in your life have you fallen prey to a false dichomy that forces you to split off concepts and ideas and parts of yourself that do not serve you or others? How can you begin to heal those places? How do you allow yourself the opportunities to avail yourself of diversity? What supports can facilitate this process?

May you choose a path to travel that celebrates the fullness of your humanity and deeply resonates a wholeness of your being!
Blessings! Rev. Qiyamah

Rhianna and Chris Brown: Love Gone Wrong!

Let's cut to the chase - no one knows what happened between Chris Brown and Rhianna. They both seem like nice and likeable individuals whose newfound relationship some of us appreciated from a distance. It was the boy and girl next door kind of romance that makes us feel anything is possible and help rekindle black love. In that regard they aren't much different from any of us. We are all looking for love or working on nurturing the love in our lives if we have been fortunate enough to find love.

Someone beat Rhianna as reflected in the pictures that were recently leaked. I have not seen any statements from Chris Brown refuting the accusations that he was the perpetrator. The fact that he has been remanded to "anger management classes" begs the issue. Violence is not about anger although it may involve anger. One writer posted the following on one of those "write-and-tell-us-what-you-think columns:

"anger is not the right treatment for someone who is abusive. What he needs is a BATTERERS INTERVENTION Program.It's not an anger issue it's a need for power and control over an intimate partner issue!!! So frustrating!!! Kate 2/25/09

Kate raises an important point that not too many of us get. We think violence is about losing control. Violence is about gaining control - over the other person or persons. No one is trying to make Rhianna out to be a saint. What I want to do is put forth a new bottom line that goes beyond, "a man should not hit a woman." My bottom line goes to the heart of the matter, that is, provocation does not justify violence. Let me say that again, "provocation does not justify violence." Many people automatically ask or think, "what did she do to make him hit her?" What if she provoked him? Chris had options. He could have walked away! He could have handled it any other way. Those individuals that are predicting the end of his career are living in la la land. People are very forgiving. And in a society that normalizes violence we tend to minimize violence against women. The following comment is fairly typical though sad:

"I don't think people should be so hard on Chris it's not like he killed her if it waz a regular guy that waz beating up his girlfriend they wouldn't be so hard on him. . . give Chris Brown a break and a second chance. . . 2/17/09

No one deserves to be beaten. Not Rhianna, not Chris - no one. We can love and appreciate both of them without feeling the need to rescue either of them. We don't have to choose between them. I repeat, we can love both of them and expect accountability from both Chris and Rhianna. Chris doesn't need anger management. He needs a program for batterers because that is what he is. You wouldn't send a sex addict to AA. A sex addict may also have a drinking problem in addition to the sex addiction but the treatment for the sex addicton has to be addressed with the appropriate intervention.

Regarding accountability for Rhianna. She ought to talk with a battered women's advocate. That will help her better understand the dynamics of abuse. She ought to learn that women that seek out shelter return to their abusive partners and leave and return on the average of six times. Rhianna is fortunately in a position that she would not need to seek shelter. The point is that women emotionally emeshed (engaged) with their partners find it hard to disengage even when violence exists. Is it hard for family, friends and loved ones to stand by while a battered woman returns? Absolutely! Nevertheless, it would be akin to leading a horse to water and trying to make them drink. They drink when they are thirsty - no sooner and no later. Battered women are similar in that we can lead them to the water but we cannot make them drink. They drink when they are ready. It is clear that the relationship is toxic. Neither Rhianna or Chris can obtain much happiness from it as long as the violence is present or the potential for violence. That kind of terror is not conducive to safety or freely exploring ones options.

Well, I have preached long enough. I felt this was such a teachable moment. Both Rhianna and Chris Brown are high visibility personalities and so this incident of violence got played out in the public rather than behind closed doors like much violence. And because it did it provides the opportunity to remind everyone that each of us deserves to live a violence free life. If someone is hurting you you don't have to stay and put up with it. Whatever your denomination or beliefs - God does not condone a man hitting a woman or staying in an abusive relationship. If you believe that then contact me so we can talk

God loves you Rhianna and Chris! Now demonstrate that same love for yourself!
Blessed Be! Rev. Qiyamah


Fast Facts on Domestic Violence

Battering of women is the most under reported crime in America.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States; more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. "Violence Against Women, A Majority Staff Report," Committee on the Judiciary, United States Senate, 102nd Congress, October 1992, p.3.

Three to four million women in the United States are beaten in their homes each year by their husbands, ex-husbands, or male lovers. "Women and Violence," Hearings before the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee, August 29 and December 11, 1990, Senate Hearing 101-939, pt. 1, p. 12.

One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States. Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1991.

About 1 out of 4 women are likely to be abused by a partner in her lifetime. Sara Glazer, "Violence, Against Women" CO Researcher, Congressional Quarterly, Inc., Volume 3, Number 8, February, 1993, p. 171.

Approximately 95% of the victims of domestic violence are women. Statistics, National Clearinghouse for the Defense of Battered Women, Ruth Peachey, M.D. 1988.

Police report that between 40% and 60% of the calls they receive, especially on the night shift, are domestic violence disputes. Carrillo, Roxann "Violence Against Women: An Obstacle to Development," Human Development Report, 1990.

Battering occurs among people of all races, ages, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations, and educational backgrounds.

Fifty percent of all homeless women and children in this country are fleeing domestic violence. Senator Joseph Biden, U.S. Senate Committee on the Judiciary, Violence Against Women: Victims of the System, 1991.

A battering incident is rarely an isolated event.

Battering tends to increase and become more violent over time.

Many batterers learned violent behavior growing up in an abusive family.

25% - 45% of all women who are battered are battered during pregnancy.

Domestic violence does not end immediately with separation. Over 70% of the women injured in domestic violence cases are injured after separation.

Domestic violence is not only physical and sexual violence but also psychological. Psychological violence means intense and repetitive degradation, creating isolation, and controlling the actions or behaviors of the spouse through intimidation or manipulation to the detriment of the individual. "Five Year State Master Plan for the Prevention of and Service for Domestic Violence." Utah State Department of Human Services, January 1994.

Prelude to Women's History Month

(Stephanie Berry on vacation in Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica. Stephanie just recently finished a run at Milwaukee Repertory Theater where she played Wiletta Mayer in Alice Childress' 1959 play, Trouble in Mind. Stephanie last appeared at the Rep as Aunt Ester in Gem of the Ocean. She appeared in Katrina: The Bridge at the University of Houston, a new work based on the stories of Hurricane Katrina survivors. Last seasons she was seen in Gee's Bend at Denver Center Theater Company. Stephanie plays Nicole Kidman's assistant, Carly, in the sci-fi movie Invasion and she plays the school principal, Ellen Parker, in the movie No Reservations, starring Catherine Zeta-Jones. Stephanie has been seen as a regular principal actress on various Law and ORder shows and other TV programs, for over 15 years. Stephanie is the winner of the OBI Award for "Best Performance" and the AUDELCO Award for "Solo Performance" in her one-woman show, The Shaneequa Chronicle: The Making of a Black Woman.




March is Women's History Month. A black female playwright that I was recently exposed to is Alice Childress. I traveled to see her play, Trouble in Mind at the Milwaukee Repertory Theater on February 12. A friend, Stephanie Berry played the main character, Wiletta Mayer. Trouble in Mind had a successful run beginning January 20 and ended February 15, 2009. The play included a Dialogue Series with its Director, Timothy Douglas, who entertained the audience on January 22 over hors d'oeuvres and wine in a conversation about his vision and insights prior to the play.

According to John O. Killens, Alice Childress' plays were an "exuberant celebration of the black experience with emphasis always on the heroic aspect of that experience in the constant struggle against racist oppression."(source: John O. Killens, "The Literary Genious of Alice Childress" in Black Women Writers 1950-1980" by Mari Evans. N.Y.: Anchor Books, 1984,129.)Childress' genius included the use of humor to write social commentary which she brilliantly demonstrates in Trouble in Mind. There were times I found myself laughing and later thinking, "was that really funny." Her ability to use humor is captured by Killens perceptive comments,"Even though one laughed throughout the entire presentation, there was, inescapably, the understanding that although one was having an undeniably emotional and a profoundundly intellectual experince, it was also political." Trouble in Mind is a "comedic drama about a group of black actors trying to make a go of it in a play conceived and directed by a "wellmeaning" white man.

Ironically, Childress wrote Trouble in Mind on a dare from Sidney Poitier who contended that a great play could not be written over night. She proved him wrong and Childress became the first black woman to win the Obie Award in 1956. In 1952 she achieved another great milestone as the first black woman to have her play, Gold Throught he Trees (a play about Harriet Tubman) produced in New York.

Childress wrote Trouble in Mind in 1949 and yet its themes are still relevant and fresh. , even more so with the recent election of our first black president.

We salute Alice Childress and other great female artists during Women's History Month. Stay tuned for a review of Stephanie Berry's, The Shaneequa Chronicles: The Making of a Black Woman (currently available for theater and University bookings.)

Take the opportunity to explore the contributions and lives of women and expand your awareness of women's history during the month of March.
Blessed Be! Rev. Qiyamah

Your Son and Daughter Probably Won't Grow Up to Be President

The writer is a friend of mine that knows how to speak truth to power. In the midst of our celebrating the milestone of electing the first black president, Junee Barringer Hunt raises some hard questions about being able to continue such an unprecedented accomplishment given certain realities.

What are you doing to better the conditions for underprivileged children in this country?
Blessings! Rev. Qiyamah


[Thoughts from the Akazia Files] Your Son and Daughter Probably Won't Grow Up...
From: AkaziaJ.
akazia@mindspring.com To: qiyamahrahman@aol.com
Date: Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:28 am

I am little more than positive that I won't make any new friends and may even lose a few old friends by what I'm about to write. However, that's okay. I only asks that you hear me out before you start throwing the stones at me. I too watched in awe, though maybe not as euphoric as some at the swearing in of our nation's 44th president of the United States of America. Some call him our first black president, first African American, first bi-racial. Well you get the picture. As Princeton scholar, Melissa Harris-Lacewell stated, president Obama's selection of Michelle Obama as his wife and the mother of his children is probably one of greatest indicators of his black identity. But I digress. Back to the issue at hand. For the past week I've looked on as black mothers and some fathers wept on the evening news that they now can tell their children that they too can become anything they want, even president. Now while this sounds really good in a sound byte, little Ray Ray and NeNe probably have a greater chance of winning the lottery than becoming president of the U.S. What we need to remember is that Obama had some very unique opportunities, some of which include having a white mother, a continental African father and white mid-western grandparents. In addition, he grew up in Hawaii and lived in Indonesia. A very different cultural legacy and experience than most Black children in America. Now let's also add the fact that Barack Obama is one smart guy bar none. In addition, his intellectual genius was cultivated in some of the best schools in America. Add that to practical experience in community organizing, Chicago boot camp political training and being in the right place at the right time (The U.S. literally in the toilet) and you have President Obama. The point I'm making is that we can not ignore the role that intellect, cultural legacy and opportunity play in creating greatness. So while we are telling our children that they too can become president, we must be equally diligent in investing in their academic future at the same rate that we invest in the latest designer fashions. If you really want little Ray Ray and NeNe to become president, parents must attend PTA and parent teacher conferences on a regular basis. We must turn off the TV and Xbox and encourage our children to read and critically think. Now when I say read, I don't mean Zane or Carl Webber's latest urban lit offering. Future presidents need a knowledge of world affairs, they need to be able to speak the language of commerce which is not project English, but the King's or at least the Queen's English. Obama can do barbershop brother to brother talk, but it is his oratory eloquence that won the hearts and minds of Americans across race, class and political ideology. Though President Obam's election is truly historical, we must couple our excitement with a dose of reality. One out of one hundred Americans are currently behind bars. Approximately, 35% of those persons are of African descent. This sobering reality tells us that our work is just beginning. I am in full agreement that we should not place limits on our children because of race or class. However, the "black tax" (twice as good to get half as much) has not been lifted just because we now have a Black president. In fact, the bar may just have been raised a bit higher. The Keepers of the African village must get busy providing little Ray Ray and Shinqua with the tools they will need to navigate a global, multi- racial, multi cultural America. Our children must have at least an intermediate grasp of math and science. More importantly, our children must be emotionally intelligent. We talk about how cool president Obama is, well that coolness is really emotional intelligence. He is a genius at managing his emotions, even in the most complex circumstances. Obama probably learned at an early age that he would not be able to control the actions and attitudes of those around him, but he could control how he responded to those attitudes. The audacity of hope is indeed alive and well and the dream lives. However, faith hope and dreams mean nothing without hard work. The next time you tell your child they can become any thing they want to be including president, remind them that president Obama is a graduate of Harvard law school where he graduated in the top of his class. That it was was hard work, perseverance, service and being prepare when opportunity presented itself that brought president Obama to the White House.
Junee Barringer Hunt

Setting Healthy Boundaries in 2009

Recently I was talking with a couple of sista friends about taking care of ourselves. I began to hear some themes emerge that I captured below.

May 2009 be a year full of adventure and growth. May we be mindful of the need to set limits while risking all for the joy of living fully aloud!
Blessed Be! Rev. Qiyamah

*Do not take work home.
*Identify the boundaries that you need to establish in order to live a balanced and healthy life
*cultivate a social life
*practice saying no
*give up perfection (remember, nothing can be done perfectly
*cultivate a network of straight talking-take-no-prisoners-friends that will tell you about yourself by speaking the truth in love
*don't sweat the small stuff and know the difference.
*engage in whatever spiritual practices work for you. If you do not have any it is time to acquire some
*what you feed will grow so grow yourself from the inside out!
*when difficult people come into your life ask yourself the following questions:
1. who is this person in my life? 2. what are they here to teach me? 3. what part of myself do they represent?
*Do not allow yourself to get distracted by your reactions to individuals or events or you will miss the message.
*trust yourself! Short of that, practice the art of trusting yourself. It will come more and more naturally.

Courting The Ctreative Muse in 2009

Toni Morrison, celebrated writer and author extraordinaire

This picture of Toni Morrison hangs above my desk where I spend endless hours coaxing ideas into words, phrases and pages when I am fortunate. This is the year I have declared that I am writing a book. Since that time I have experienced moments of crystal clarity. Others times I have had moments of utter panic. Yet, I plod along defying the demons that want to deny this fire that is shut up in my bones and demands to be expressed. My writing project is on the presence of black women in Unitarian Universalism. After years of informally pursuing my research I have received some financial support and acknowledgment of my efforts.

Writing is a very solitude experience that unfortunately feeds my tendency towards introversion. Thus, I have to struggle, really really struggle not to succumb to the solitude and isolation. I am not sure whether other writers have to contend with these issues but the fact that I do makes it integral to my writing process. It forces me to place my writing into the larger scheme of things as part of my life but not the sum total of my life. Otherwise, my writing could easily consume me. I know that when I come up for air I want and need human connections and so I try not to allow myself to become too engrossed in my writing at the detriment of my need for human contact.

What aspects of your life are you so passionate about that you could easily give yourself to totally?

May your passion continue to be fed and may you strive for balance that holds you in the mystery of life's fullness.
Blessed Be! Rev. Qiyamah

Getting to the Promised Land

Happy Birthday Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.


Sermon
Getting to the Promised Land
January 18, 2009
(delivered at the First Unitarian Church of Chicago)


Namaste’

Our text this morning comes from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s speech, I Have A Dream – delivered on April 3, 1968 – His last speech before his murder in Memphis, TN:

He said,
“We’ve got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn’t matter with me now, because I’ve been to the mountain top and I don’t mind.
Like anybody, I’d like to live a longggg life. But longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up the mountain and I’ve looked over and I’ve seeeeeen the Promised Land.
I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land. So I’m happy tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen. the glory of the coming of the Lord. ”

It took some practice for me to deliver those words. Raised up in the black Baptist church, I am intimately familiar with the voice inflections and style of black southern preaching. That was not the issue. The challenge was to be able to recite those words without weeping – without being swept into the emotional vortex in hearing those final public words of Dr. King. Initially, an array of emotions washed over me and immobilized me. I finally had to envision his words as a healing balm pouring over me.

Now if we were in the Baptist church I would have at least one hour to expound on Dr. King's legacy. But our Unitarian Universalist tradition does not allow me to linger long so come with me as we travel back forty one years to examine Dr. King’s legacy. We are called today to examine our commitment to that legacy and whether or not we have honored it with integrity and to reflect on what is required to get to the Promised Land, what ever and where ever that is.

It was the bravery of a woman, Rosa Parks, on Dec. 1, 1955 that forever changed his life and catapulted him onto the national and international arena, for he first came to our attention with the Montgomery bus boycott as a result of her refusal to give up her seat. Others joined in a boycott that lasted for a year and ended with black folks in Montgomery, AL saying, Yes We Can.

So from that time toward the end of his life we can say that he spoke out against injustices, he spoke out against racism, he spoke out against materialism and he ultimately spoke out against militarism. You need to know that the last few years of his life he had fallen out of favor with the powers that be because he dared speak out against the war in Vietnam and the economic disparities in this country. He had already earned his reputation as a great civil rights leader. And yet they dared to try to stifle the dream and dreamer by ostrisizing him.
Because of his legacy and those great men and women that worked along side him and maintained the legacy. the old guard is passing away and the new guard is being birthed as we speak.

The bible says the race is given not to the swift or even to the strong – but to the ones that endureth to the end.

Rosa Parks endured to the end. She was not just a black woman with tired feet that day. She was a conscious black woman with tired feet that devoted her life to social justice.

Dr. King endured to the end. During his lifetime he espoused a social gospel – a liberation theology that pointed toward justice for the poor and oppressed that would ultimately engender the Beloved Community, the Kingdom of God on earth.
Dr. King challenged our nation’s moral authority an and memory. He challenged America to make good on its promises of justice and freedom for all people.
King’s legacy created a new narrative – one that was interfaith as well as culturally and racially diverse. A narrative that we are still attempting to make good on in this country. Every Sunday here at First Unitarian we affirm and invite folks of different faiths, different cultures and different races to join us. And we extend that invitation to persons with different sexual orientations. So we have honored King’s legacy and expanded it in our Unitarian Universalist tradition.
But I came today to talk about getting to the Promised Land.

The Promised Land is a term used in the Hebrew Bible to describe the land promised by God, to the Israelites. It entails a territory from the river of Egypt to the Euphrates river. But in more contemporary times the term Promised Land is used very differently. My ancestors talked about a city paved with streets of gold, where they would just walk around Heaven all day. They would sing a song,”everybody talking bout heaven ain’t goin there. They would turn and look at Masa’s Big House when they sang those words.

Johnny Cash sang, I am Bound for the Promised Land. Chuck Berry in 1965 and Elvis Presley in 1973 both made songs titled, Promised Land. Our UU hymnal contains a hymn titled, We’ll Build a Land. “We’ll build a land where we bind up the broken…Where the captives go free…where the oil of gladness dissolves all mourning.” Ohhhhhhh, we’ll build a Promised Land that can be.”

Oprah Winfrey calls her 42 acre, multimillion dollar residence in Santa Barbara, CA the Promised Land. There is a Promise Land State Park in Pike County, PA.

The promised land is clearly a metaphor for a place where all is right in the world, where if you are good enough and have lived a good live you will get to this mythical promised land. It probably looks different for each individual.
However, the Promised Land is like the lottery, you have to play to win.
We have to at least set our feet on a path that we believe will take us there – where ever “there” is. Scotty from Star Trek can’t just beam us there.

Rev. Dr. Marilyn Sewell, a Unitarian Universalist minister contends that, “Salvation is not about getting to the promised land – it’s about how well we journey.”
And I would add, “how well we journey together.” Because I don’t think it would be any fun to be in the promised land by ones self. So getting to the promised land requires vision and community.

I believe it also requires bravery but not the lack of fear. I recall a time when Dr. King was afraid - Like many of us he struggled at times with his vision, his leadership, his faith and commitment. In a prayer titled, Kings Prayer, Dr. King is not portrayed as the great fearless leader we have all come to know and love. Instead, he is like so many of us when we become discouraged, tired and afraid.

He wrote, “I had reached the saturation point, I am here taking a stand for what I believe is right. But now I am afraid. The people are looking to me for leadership, and I stand before them without strength and courage, they too will falter. I am at the end of my powers. I have nothing left…I can’t face it alone.” “At this moment,” he wrote, “I experienced the presence of the Divine as I had never before experienced him. It seemed as though I could hear the quiet assurance of an inner voice saying, Stand up for righteousness, stand up for truth. God will be at your side forever.”
“Almost at once” he wrote, “my fears began to pass from me. My uncertainty disappeared. I was ready to face anything. The outer situation remained the same, but God had given me inner calm.”

It is about moments of grace like these when we have to wrestle with our inner demons. When we have to reach deep inside only to find that we may need more than our meager resources for the journey at hand.
What do you call that “something” that will get you through life’s adversities and ultimately to the Promised Land? For King, Christian redemption was delivered by a God of love and compassion who held him when he could not go on.
For us as Unitarian Universalists embracing diverse beliefs, I challenge each of you to name the various ways that your theology and ideology holds you during times of great distress in your life that will get you to your Promised Land.
Dr. King said there would be some difficult days ahead.

He embodied a spirit of generosity, an open and optimistic view of life and creation. He conveyed a profound respect for those with different views. He met violence with gentleness, forgiveness and understanding because he understood grace and redemption.

Dr. King said, "Right defeated is stronger than evil triumphant.”

In closing I could quote any number of Dr. King’s prolific words and speeches. Instead, I will quote a less known statement made to the U.S. Congress on May 20, 1959. Dr. King said to them:
“Make a career of humanity, commit yourself to the noble struggle for equal rights. You will make a greater person of yourself, a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in.”

This was Dr. King’s legacy. He reminded us in his words and his example of who we are capable of being in our finest/highest and best selves.

Getting to the promised land requires that we set our feet on the path of justice and equality, that we be visionaries willing to be in relationship with one another and be intentional about naming our theologies and ideologies; that we tap our inner resources and spiritual practices that get us through adversity and that we be on board for the long haul - the protracted struggle.

Thus, like King in our final hour we can hear these words from our friends and family, well done they good and faithful servant.

Amen and Blessed Be!

The TiesThat Bind

As I get older I find that family means so much more to me. I get great enjoyment being around my children and family. They nourish me and rejuvenate my spirit. I am thankful for them and the love they bring into my life.
Question: What is nurturing your spirit and feeding your life? Who are the indivduals that you are thankful for in your life?
Blessing! Rev. Qiyamah


L-R New Love is in the Air - Walter (Libra's beau) and Libra (my daughter)


L-R Ricco Richardson (brother in law) and my mom


L-R Brenda (sister), Gwen (sister), Qiyamah, Betty (sister) and Kaleema (daughter) front row my mom


L-R Brenda, Gwen, Qiyamah, Betty and Mom


L-R Brandon (grandson), Muhammad (son), Kaleema and Libra (daughters)- front row - Michelle (daughter in law)


L-R Brandon, Muhammad, Qiyamah, Kaleema and Libra


L-R My two daughters, Libra and Kaleema


L-R Muhammad (my son), Michelle (his wife) and Rev.Q


L-R Brandon James Beale (my grandson) and Muhammad


L-R Muhammad and Michelle


L-R Kaleema and Brandon

Good Food and Good Company is what it is all About

L-R Folks at Dale Washington's dinner party


Rev. LaDonna amidst the cornocopia of food


L-R Rev.Q and Laroto


L-R Rev. Q and Rev. LaDonna


L-R Laroto and Rev. Qiyamah


L-R Dale Washington, Chicago artist and Rev. Q at an annual dinner that he gives every year. I met so many artists and had some great food that Dale prepares himself.


Dale surrounded by some of his art. The walls in all the rooms were filled with his art. At the end of the evening he gave me a simple line drawing that he did of a nature scene.

Ubuntu Fundraiser

L-R Laroto and Rev. LaDonna Sanders


Father and Son (sorry, I forgot their names)


Linda Lawrence, a friend I met at the S. African Consulate


Laroto's friend, also from S. Africa and living in Chicago.


L-R Rev. Nina Grey, and Rev. LaDonna Sanders


Mama Edie, local storyteller


L-R Norma Poinsett, Rev. Q. and Rev. Michelle Bentley


Loroto from South Africa modeling an outfit that she made. I bought a great skirt from her.


L-R Rev. Q and Rev. Nina Grey


L-R Rev.Michelle Bentley, Phifer Brown and Rev. Nina Grey (my minister and the minister at 1st Unitarian Church of Chicago)


L-R Anita Orlikoff, Norma Poinsett, Makeba (artist) and Mama Edie (storyteller)


L-R young brother, sister from South Africa, yours truly and Peter, one of the Lost Boys from the Sudan


Rev. LaDonna Sanders, Director of Ubuntu who is heading back to South Africa this month where she is growing a ministry that works with street children and cildren orphaned by HIV AIDS.

The Wine and Cheese was the first fund raiser that I have ever planned and the first "event" that I have had at my house since I my birthday party on October 17! I am greatful for all the folks that came out and supported Ubuntu and helped me. I learned a lot. Fundraising is a special skill that I have discovered is an invaluable skill when one is doing any kind of work and/or ministry. It helps when you believe in what you are doing.
Blessings! Rev. Qiyamah