Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Enduring the Pain and Desolation of Life

(drawing by Kaleema Nur)

"I need to be with people who know the tastes of anger and shame. And can still spit joy."
(source: excerpted from - Andrew Spieldennor. Birth of a Negation in Names We Call Home. By Becky Thompson and Sangeeta Tyagi. London:Routledge, 1996. p.210.)

There are times in my life when I know that I know something and there is no doubt about my truth. Those times are infrequent but when they occur they are like moments of grace, transcending the usual and tapping something so pure that it overwhelms anything to the contrary. When I came across the quote above I felt like the author, Andrew Spieldennor, was inside my very soul describing the journey and state of my soul - the path of my healing. While he names the two emotions of anger and shame it could be any number of emotions which have almost threatened my very existence in some dark time in my life. My healing has come from stealing the joy in the midst of these moments so that I have survived bigger and stronger and full of joy inspite of the memories of the dark nights of my soul.

Question: What practices have allowed you to step away from the pain and dissapointmens, whatever they may have been for you and which alowed you to embrace the joy?

The bible says something about the following, "weeping endureth for the night but joy cometh in the morning." Emotional toxicity can sometimes keep us in lodabar. Lodabar is a desolate place described in the bible where we find ourselves stranded sometimes in our lives. Our mantra during those times might be to remind us that this too shall pass. But meanwhile, what do we have to learn in this desolate place? What anger, shame or other emotions are begging for our attention? If we give our attention to them can we learn the lessons we need to learn and move on? Can we perhaps embrace these experiences not as enemies but friends guiding us to destinations unknown?

Question: What pain - what place of terror and desolation are you fighting and resisting? What would happen if you simply embraced it and befriended it and invited it to come in and tell you its secrets? Can you handle being up close and personal with pain and whatever terror most haunts you?

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Blessing! Rev. Qiyamah

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